A Stabdads Story
by lunanoel
Summary: just as the title implies, this is a Humanstuck Stabdads AU focusing on the Midnight Crew, the Felt, and people outside of both raising their children. Multiple Characters, Multiple Genres, rated T for the swearing and violence that comes from the Midnight Crew and the Felt in general.
1. Chapter 1

**Lulu: yo~ i'm Lulu, and this is my beautiful Humanstuck Stabdads AU. why did I make this fanfic, you ask? Inspiration!...also, because I looked at too many stabdad AU picks and had to do it. Enjoy~**

******NOTICE: IF YOU HAVE ANY PROBLEMS WITH THIS FANFICTION, PLEASE DON'T REPORT ME; JUST TELL ME YOUR ISSUES WITH THE PARTICULAR FANFICTION, AND I WILL DO MY BEST TO FIX THEM. I REALLY DON'T LIKE HAVING TO LOSE FANFICTIONS AND REUPLOAD THEM ALL OVER AGAIN. THANK YOU**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN HOMESTUCK, FOR THAT IS OWNED BY ANDREW HUSSIE. I ALSO DO NOT OWN THE STABDADS IDEA IN GENERAL, OR THE IDEA TO MAKE SOLLUX CAPTOR INTO TWINS; THE CREDIT BEHIND THAT GOES TO OTHER PEOPLE (if anyone knows who invented either of these ideas, then I apologize for using them without their consent, but I have no idea who the heck they are). ENJOY**

There are many things in life that you simply just can't avoid; growing older, getting a job, visiting the doctor…all of these things can only be pushed farther away for a certain amount of time before reality sets in and you have to get off your ass and do them. You, unfortunately, have a situation exactly like this, and it's currently settling in your arms as you and your co-workers approach your boss's house; it was a poorly cared for one story house with dull gray siding, a black roof missing a few shingles, and a yard that was basically dead, excluding the mass amount of weeds that sprouted up in different places on the brown grass (in all honesty, it looked about the same as every other house on that block; your boss lives in a horrible neighborhood).

Your name is Diamonds Droog, you're a member of the infamous Midnight Crew…and this morning, you became a single father (Seriously, no joke; if it was, someone would be laughing by now). Three years ago, a miracle occurred at an average pub; no one bothered you. No members of the Felt, no cops, no one decided to pester your group…other than the four gorgeous girls that somehow lured the Midnight Crew into having a very fun time that night.

Now, you weren't stupid when it came to these kinds of events, especially with how rare they are; you were smart enough to be safe (Slick probably wasn't, and Deuce wouldn't have been either…though the latter was extremely naïve and had a better excuse than Slick, who just didn't care), and thankfully you got no complaints in later months of any of those sex-transmitted diseases that you hear about occasionally on the news…however, judging by the fact that a 3 year old little girl was left at your doorstep, you figure that something must've went wrong somewhere.

When you called your co-workers, Clubs Deuce and Hearts Boxcars, later that morning, you learned that you weren't the only one that found a child at their door (Heck, Deuce found twins…that poor bastard). After a brief discussion about what to do next, you all agreed that the natural next step would be to bug your boss, Spades Slick, to see if he'd also be joining you in the wonderful world of parenting.

Unfortunately, he wouldn't fucking answer the door (you saw no kid there, so either there was a higher power that clearly recognized the fact that there was no way someone like Spades fucking Slick could ever be responsible enough to be a father…or the kid somehow broke into the house), but you did notice that one of his windows had been freshly broken (bingo), so while Deuce attempted to crawl through the window, Boxcars began to jimmy the lock on the front door.

Your job was to watch the kids; you had your own daughter resting on one of your arms, meanwhile the other arm was occupied with the head of one of the twins (you think that it's Sol; the kids referred to themselves as Sol and Lux, and from what you've gathered, Sol is extremely hotheaded and dare-devilish, and there always needs to be someone guarding him so that he doesn't go off to play in traffic), while the other two kids (both boys; one of them being the other twin, while the other is Boxcar's little boy; their difference in size is extremely surprising, as you expected him to be at least taller than Deuce's kids) stood by your legs, waiting patiently like good little children.

While you had time to spare, you got a good look at the kids. Your daughter, Aradia, had curly dark brown hair that easily flowed down her back, and dark brown eyes that were reminded you of two decently-sized chestnuts (both of these features were from your genes of course; she did, however, have lightly tanned skin and slight facial features that reminded you of her mother. She was half-Japanese as well, something else that she inherited from her mother). She was calm and collected, much like you were, but she also had a light smile that didn't seem to disappear, and a tendency to giggle when it didn't seem to make much sense (she also seems to be distracted by things that aren't there…you'll deal with that later). She was wearing a scarlet red dress that ended at her knees with puffy sleeves and two red buttons on the front (the buttons were most likely for decoration, as there was a zipper on the back). Her shoes were black, but she wasn't wearing any socks or stockings…one of the many things you'd fix later.

Boxcar's son, Tavros, had a few more differences than similarities when it came to his father; both had skin that was tanned by a combination of the sun and mere genetics, while Boxcar had dark brown hair and light brown eyes, Tavros had the opposite, with his own light brown hair styled in a Mohawk (the rest of his hair that wasn't in the Mohawk was mere peach fuzz) and a remarkable amount of innocence in his dark brown eyes. He was extremely shy from what you could tell (he clung to your pant leg, but he didn't have the courage to look you in the eyes, instead focusing on random parts of broken concrete), and out of the few words you've heard him speak since he got here, most of them have been in Spanish, but he seemed to be trying hard not to cry at least, so you think he'll probably improve in that sense someday. He was wearing an orange shirt, black jeans, black shoes, and a black leather jacket that he'd probably grow out of in a few months (whoever had raised Tavros beforehand at least knew how to dress their kid…and yes, you, Diamonds Droog, were the fashion expert of the Midnight Crew, because it'd be a bit odd if that title went to Boxcars).

Lastly, the twins, Sol and Lux, were almost completely identical to Deuce; all three had light brown hair (though Sol and Lux had theirs a bit spikier and in a shorter cut than Deuce's, which was merely straight and flat) and fair skin, and even Sol had Deuce's dark brown eyes (Lux, on the other hand, had light blue eyes that almost looked gray). While they seem to be completely and utterly identical (with stoic looks on their faces made to permanently piss those with less patience than yourself), you've come to realize in the few minutes that you've known them that Sol is extremely over-confident, loud, and obnoxious (and really good at annoying you), while Lux on the other hand was quiet, most likely self-loathing, and entirely pitiable. Both were wearing black and yellow stripped t-shirts, black shorts, white socks, and black tennis shoes, and though both had shades, Sol had red shades while Lux had blue (that was basically one of the few ways you were ever going to tell them apart for years to come).

It didn't take long for the door to open (Boxcar proceeded to break the lock before Deuce could open it for them), and you all strolled in like it was your home (you passed Sol to Boxcars, who had a stronger grip and a lot more patience than you could ever hope to grasp, but kept Aradia with you). The interior of Slick's house is very open concept; the living room, dining room, and kitchen are all connected to each other, and there's a hallway leading to the two bedrooms and the one bathroom in the house. There was also a crummy basement that Slick stored his junk in (mostly because his attic was too small to hold too many things in it, but also because Slick had a tendency to sometimes collect weapons and antiques, though most of what he found was utterly useless to you).

As expected, Slick was passed out on the couch, reeking of alcohol. The kid, which surprisingly or unsurprisingly actually existed, was also easy to find; he was watching TV in front of the couch.

The first thing you noticed was the pure similarity between this kid and Slick; they had the same black hair that was a tangled, spiky mess that'd probably never met the end of a hairbrush (Slick always tried to slick his hair back, but the best he could really do was put on his hat and hope no one would notice his half-assed job at keeping his hair down), the same ghostly pale skin that'd be burned in a matter of minutes if either of them spent too long in the sun. Even their almost permanent scowls matched each other perfectly; there was, however, one difference. Slick has eyes as black as coal (probably just as black and vile as his heart, or at least, that's what he claims when he's drunk off his ass), but this kid's eyes, though just as filled with anger and fury, were a different color; they were an extremely bright neon red color that caught your attention immediately.

The kid was silent, staring at the TV like it was the most interesting thing in the world, but you knew that he had sensed your presence (he probably didn't see you as much of a threat…either that, or he's scared stiff. Both are equally possible). He was sitting with his knees pressed to his chest, wearing a black sweater that covered most of his body and ratty gray jeans. He was small, barefoot, and somehow one of the most intimidating kids you'd ever seen…and yet somehow, you were the first one to talk to him.

"Hey, kid, is your dad going to wake up anytime soon?" you ask the boy. He finally turns to look at you for a moment, confused about something, and then he looks back at Slick and seemingly remembers something.

"The fuckass wouldn't wake up before, I fucking doubt he will now" the boy's voice was surprisingly loud, making him seem bigger than he actually was. This, unsurprisingly, gets Slick to wake up, a groan of complaint coming from his formerly unconscious body. Slowly, Slick lifts his head, you exchange glances, and he flinches at the light coming from the TV…and then gives you a look of confusion when he sees the boy.

"Remember that night three years ago?" that was apparently enough information, because he sighs and begins to rub his temples.

"Dammit…" he turns to the boy, though he probably isn't focusing well due to the TV's sharp light. "Hey kid, what's your name?"

"Karkat Vantas" the boy replied, though his focus had once again returned to the television.

"Where's your mother?" you ask, though you're not really sure if you're going to get an actual answer.

"What's a mother?" Wow, you actually get an answer out of him…and it kind of makes you want to crawl in a hole and die (hey, you might be a ruthless gang member, but you at least have the ability to pity a motherless, almost orphan…and if he's Slick's kid, that just gives you more reasons to worry about his future…if he even has one).

"How did you get here?" you tried again, hoping to get an answer that wasn't emotionally soul-crushing.

"Was driven. The car was black and shiny"

"Who drove you here?"

"Don't Know. It was a weird guy" Hmm, weird guy…you'd have to investigate that later.

"Who took care of you before?" the boy went silent for a minute, and you thought that briefly that maybe he went from house to house, but finally he muttered "Crabdad", wrapping his arms around his knees and hugging them closer to his chest. That was the most you'd gotten from him, because after that, he went silent. The other kids joined him in watching cartoons, while you and the rest of the Crew sat in the dining room and talked.

After an hour of "discussing" (mostly arguing), you all decided to just raise the kids yourself; how hard could it be? Probably extremely difficult from what you've seen with the Felt and their kids (they somehow had children that were all pretty much the same age as yours), but you were the Midnight Crew, and if you enjoyed anything, it was a challenge.

Your name is Diamonds Droog, and today is your first day as a parent…and hopefully, your kid will still be alive by the time it reaches adulthood because you seriously have doubts about your parenting skills.

**Lulu: End~ and now, just to make sure everyone understands who has which child (because I changed a few things from the ideas I got on tumbler), I will put a parent-child relationship thing down here:**

**Midnight Crew: Spades Slick - Karkat, Diamonds Droog - Aradia, Hearts Boxcars - Tavros, Clubs Deuce - Sol and Lux **

**The Felt:**

**Trace x Fin - Eridan (adopted) **

**Crowbar - Roxy (adopted; Rose and Roxy's Mom was a friend of Doc Scratch. She died and Scratch, pitying the children, took them in...though Crowbar was mostly forced to raise Roxy. the idea of Crowbar and Roxy was originally from asymmetricalOverdose from Archive or Our Own)**

**Snowman - Vriska and Terezi (it's a secret about whether or not the two are twins, and Snowman refuses to tell anyone the truth)**

**Stitch - Kanaya (this immediately clicked in my head)**

**Sawsbuck x Cans - Equius (again, adopted)**

**Doc Scratch - Rose (see explanation at Crowbar - Roxy)**

**Lord English - Gamzee (adopted), Calliope and Caliborn**

**Families outside of the Midnight Crew or the Felt:**

**Dad - John, Jane, and Feferi**

**Bro - Dave and Dirk**

**Grandpa - Jade, Jake, and Nepeta**

**Lulu: and to answer any questions from readers, yes, the mysterious man that drove Karkat to Slick's house was Andrew Hussie (because I said so). Thank you for reading~**


	2. Chapter 2

**Lulu: yo~ Second chapter is up~ I needed to update this, so here you are :3**

******NOTICE: IF YOU HAVE ANY PROBLEMS WITH THIS FANFICTION, PLEASE DON'T REPORT ME; JUST TELL ME YOUR ISSUES WITH THE PARTICULAR FANFICTION, AND I WILL DO MY BEST TO FIX THEM. I REALLY DON'T LIKE HAVING TO LOSE FANFICTIONS AND REUPLOAD THEM ALL OVER AGAIN. THANK YOU**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN HOMESTUCK, FOR THAT IS OWNED BY ANDREW HUSSIE. I ALSO DO NOT OWN PETER PAN. ENJOY**

Your name is Clubs Deuce, and you're currently calling a babysitter. The reason why you're doing this is simple; the Midnight Crew now has five children in their care, and you weren't going to leave all these poor, defenseless kids in Slick's house without someone watching them…and all of you were needed for your mission tonight, so getting a babysitter was the best way to go (even if Slick would yell at you later for giving away the address of his house to a complete stranger who could easily call the cops on you).

You knew someone that probably wouldn't call the police at first notice…he's famous for dealing with even the most difficult children as if they were perfect little angels; this was good, because at times, the children of the Midnight Crew can be fairly difficult. Tavros and Aradia are the least difficult; Tavros is shy and not that talkative when it came to strangers, so when it came to communication, you usually had to figure out what he wanted though his body language…though, even that within itself is confusing (you've also heard from Boxcars that he usually won't go to sleep unless Peter Pan is playing right next to him, or unless his stuffed bull, Tinkerbull, was with him; thankfully, he had the bull with him, so hopefully he'd fall asleep without much fuss).

As for Aradia, well…from what you could tell, she seems to have a lot of imaginary friends to talk to, and she always seems extremely happy…but Droog has told you that sometimes it's hard to get her to eat (he's even had to feed her at times) because she tends to zone out at random moments and stay like that from minutes to hours at a time. As long as she was fed, she could probably fall asleep on her own.

Your own boys, Sol and Lux, were a bit different. Sol had to be kept on one of those kid leashes because he was always running into possibly dangerous situations (sometimes you didn't know if he was just being brave or stupid…or both. Usually it was both), and it took quite a bit of time to get him to sleep (you've often been tempted to use tranquilizers because there are times when you simply can't catch him). Lux was fairly good when it came to keeping himself alive, but he had a major lack of self-confidence and all sharp objects had to be kept away from him at all times (he isn't quite suicidal yet, but he's a bit of a klutz and tends to run into things a lot…which, in truth, is a trait that both boys seem to share).

Finally, Slick's son, Karkat, would probably prove to be the most difficult out of the rest of them. The boy was actually fairly well-mannered for someone his age; he used polite language (most of the time…Slick's influence was evident in the fact that his son was constantly swearing…though that could've been there before he even met Slick. Anything's possible), was usually quiet (unless someone got him mad…Sol had a tendency of doing that sometimes), and he didn't find any enjoyment in going out of his way to potentially end his young life before it even began (your sons could learn a thing or two from him).

There were, however, a few issues with the boy; even at the young age of three, Karkat seemed to have no desire to sleep (evident by the black bags under his eyes), eat (Slick usually didn't have much food around…and Droog probably came only once a week with groceries, so you couldn't imagine how the boy was actually doing in terms of eating right, especially since he wore long black sweaters everyday), or even to play with other children (the most he's done with the kids around him is yell at Sol for causing a ruckus…something you're usually too busy worrying to do). All of that within itself was worrying enough…and everytime you've come over, he's usually either watching television, or he's looking out the window; that's where he was now in fact.

You acknowledged the fact that Karkat was now watching the window, though you really couldn't remember why; he wasn't personally expecting anyone, right? I mean, he knows the babysitter is coming, but is he really just waiting for a man he's never met? (and yes, it's a man…or, a male. You're pretty sure the guy is a teen, but his language on the phone made him seem much more mature than that). You think about what he might be doing for a minute or two, and then the doorbell suddenly rang. You look to Karkat, who seemed to mutter "Stranger", and thought that the babysitter was probably here…and that's when you made the mistake of opening the door.

His name is Kankri Maryam, he's an albino (you could easily tell by the almost fluorescent white hair and bright red eyes that kind of resembled Karkat's eyes)…and he did not stop talking. Not as you let him in, handed him a note of instructions (you couldn't vocally give them because he wouldn't shut up), and left him with the kids and some pizza money (you're pretty sure that all of the kids will eat pizza). You sighed, giving a silent prayer of luck over to the children of the Midnight Crew as you strolled off with the rest of your group to begin your newest job.

PROCEED TO BEING THE INSUFFERABLE ONE

You proceed to becoming the insuff – you mean Kankri Maryam. You are not insufferable, no matter what anyone else says…you've just got a habit of talking a bit too much, that's all…you're not really that insufferable, are you? that's probably extremely triggering (and that irks you, because you never want to be triggering to anyone…unless that person made you angry, but no one has done that in a really long time).

You've been chatting with the children for a decent amount of time, and you enjoy their company a lot; they don't seem to be bothered by you at all. They haven't said a word, but it looks like they're all paying attention! It's so wonderful for youths their age to be listening to an adult like themselves. Maybe you'll be able to get this job again sometime! These children are so much more behaved than the last group you watched; you faintly remember a variety of objects being thrown at you, and a lot of amusing yet also terrifying time shenanigans going on around you (that's the last time you babysit for the Felt…even if you did get very well-paid for it. You had to fib a little here and there, and that made you a little upset with yourself, but thankfully you were still alive by the end of the night).

You're thoughts of just how lucky you were to get this job were interrupted by the doorbell being rung. It was probably the pizza delivery man! On the list, it was mentioned that there was some pizza ordered for the little ones! (technically, you'd also be getting a slice, but it specifically says to have them eat first). When you opened the door, the man seemed to be quite irritated with you, though you didn't know why. When you handed him the money, he just shoved the pizza into your arms and ran for his car…honestly, people can be so rude sometimes.

You set the box down on the coffee table in front of the television, where the children had somehow gathered in the five minutes that you were with the pizza guy. You turned the TV off, angering the children watching it, and one of the children (Sol, you assumed) immediately saw food and grabbed a slice. The rest followed suit, including yourself, and it wasn't long until the entire pizza was gone.

It seemed very quiet for a while afterwards…and then, when you looked over to the children, you saw they were asleep (they looked absolutely adorable). Not wanting to wake them, you quietly picked up the children and moved them to the couch so that they'd be more comfortable. The twins were truly adorable when they were resting, clinging to each other and even breathing in complete sync with one another. The other boy, Tavros, had his arms wrapped around a white stuffed bull, and the girl, Aradia, was curled up into a ball, much like a little kitten (you contained yourself, though you were almost sure that you were blushing from the adorableness).

You did notice, however, that one of the children was still awake; young Karkat, who'd barely even looked at you the entire evening, was staring out the window…it felt like he was waiting for something. Except for when you'd all had pizza together, he'd rarely left his post at the window…it felt like he was waiting for something, but you didn't know what it was…you shrugged, sitting on the floor next to him. As long as the other children were asleep, you might as well watch the window with him.

BE THE YOUNG BOY AT THE WINDOW

You are now the young boy at the window (aka Karkat Slick, formerly known as Karkat Vantas), and you are waiting. You know you should be doing this; you should be asleep with the other kids, and it honestly wouldn't be too hard to just collapse right now (especially since the man babysitting you has been basically talking ever since he stepped through the door…you're convinced that he basically bored your friends to sleep). And yet, you still had to wait, you had to watch.

You remember the last time you didn't wait; that had been with your old dad, the one that raised you before. You liked that man, even if he wasn't your real father, because he treated you like you were his son. You faintly remembered that man and his bright red hair and eyes that matched your own. You didn't know how he was related to you in the first place, but it didn't matter; all you knew was that that man was part of your family, and he was the only one willing to take you. You and him had shared a love of crabs, causing you to nickname him "Crabdad", as you had no idea what his real name was (you remember calling him that for the first time, how he picked you up and nearly squeezed the life out of you in a tight hug, hearing him chuckle as you tried to struggle away before accepting it, just as you always did).

Unfortunately, like everyone else, Crabdad had to leave…and it was all your fault. You should've been watching like you usually did; you were in the car, you should've been watching what was going on outside the car. You should've said something about how the car beside you was slightly swerving back and forth (you could faintly see a man and a woman fighting in the car); you should've, but you didn't. You and Crabdad were coming home from the beach, and you were tired and just wanted to sleep…and then, you heard a tire squeal and saw someone reach for you (you had convinced Crabdad to let you sit in the passenger seat that time…you should've stayed in the back where it was safe) before everything went black.

You remember waking up in a hospital, something attached to your wrist, a bunch of machines and wires attached to you. Doctors had come into your room shortly after you awoke, and they told you many things very quickly so that you'd only understand bits and pieces. They said that it was a miracle that you were alive, that you'd even woken up (you were supposed to be asleep for a very long time…maybe forever). They said that the car was gone now; in the crash, it'd been pushed off the road and had flipped a bunch of times. They said that Crabdad was gone (he was gone because he protected you, he shielded you from most of the painful stuff, stuff that could've made you go away too), just like that woman, the one that gave birth to you and disappeared…you wanted to cry, but you couldn't, because you're a big kid, and big kids don't cry.

You remember a strange man you'd never seen before taking you out of the hospital when you were all patched up. The man never identified himself, though you faintly noticed that he somehow had gotten all your stuff packed up and ready to go, so you guessed that he was one of those "Social Services" people that had given you to Crabdad (they took a lot of time to do it apparently; they almost refused to). You remember the few brief cases holding your belongings being thrown onto the dead lawn of this dirty house, and when the man drove away, you had rang the doorbell until you realized that no one would answer. The rest was history.

You don't really like the man taking care of you now; he's cold, mean, and he often forgets that you're even there (you don't really eat all that much because of that). Still…he's your dad, and he's the only one you've got left. Since you never go anywhere together, and he leaves for work without you, you stick to watching the window and making sure he comes home every night…you almost get no sleep because of it, but it's worth it, just to see Stabdad come home. And yes, you've nicknamed your new dad "Stabdad".

And yet…as the night continues on (with your babysitter waiting with you), you get more and more tired. You rub at your eyes, trying to stay awake, but then you're pulled into a soft lap and – well, you proceeded to snuggle into the lap, because you're an extremely sleep-deprived child, and you no longer have any control over your own actions. Your babysitter, Kankri, merely chuckles at you and rests a hand in your hair, allowing you to relax a bit more. With Kankri watching the window…maybe a quick nap wouldn't hurt…

BE CLUBS DEUCE AGAIN

You are now once again Clubs Deuce, and you're currently suffering from cuteness overload. Somehow all the children were cuddled around one another on the couch; even Karkat, who's usually always awake, had been tucked in beside Aradia and Tavros. You needed to remember to hire Kankri again…yeah, his constant chatter ate at your nerves, but it was worth it to see something as adorable as this. You took many pictures of this occasion (with the flash off of course).

**Lulu: End~ I combined sadness and adorableness. you're welcome. Feel free to review :3 Thank you for reading~**


	3. Chapter 3

**Lulu: yo~ yes, I know this is late, but school has work and work is bluh :P sorry. This chapter centers around the Feltkids...yeah, enjoy~**

******NOTICE: IF YOU HAVE ANY PROBLEMS WITH THIS FANFICTION, PLEASE DON'T REPORT ME; JUST TELL ME YOUR ISSUES WITH THE PARTICULAR FANFICTION, AND I WILL DO MY BEST TO FIX THEM. I REALLY DON'T LIKE HAVING TO LOSE FANFICTIONS AND REUPLOAD THEM ALL OVER AGAIN. AND YES, NO ISSUE IS TOO INSIGNIFICANT BECAUSE I LIKE WRITING SOMETHING THAT WILL MAKE BOTH MYSELF AND MY READERS HAPPY. THANK YOU**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN HOMESTUCK, FOR THAT IS OWNED BY ANDREW HUSSIE. I ALSO DO NOT OWN THE GRIMM BROTHERS FAIRYTALES, SPECIFICALLY NOT THE LITTLE MERMAID, OR DISNEY. ENJOY**

Your name is Crowbar, you're a member of the Felt, and you're reading a bedtime story to children…yeah, one of those things doesn't belong in that sentence, does it? probably that last part that mentioned you reading from a book of "Fairy Tales", because it's your turn to watch the kids, and unlike most, you can actually read in English (besides yourself, the only ones that can read in English are Matchsticks, Sawbuck, Stitch, Snowman, and Die. Quarters can read in French, Fin in Italian, Itchy in Japanese, Trace and Doze in Spanish. As far as you know, Clover, Cans, Biscuit, and Eggs just can't read in general).

Ok, so it did seem to be pretty weak for a mafia man such as yourself to be reading "The Little Mermaid" to a bunch of brats…but it was at Caliborn's request, so you really couldn't say no (refusing to take orders from your boss's kid, who could end up becoming your future boss, would probably definitely get you fired…or worse). Caliborn and Calliope were seemingly younger than everyone else, having been born prematurely and the fact that they grow at a slower rate; despite all of this against them, they both are in fact 3 years old, just like the rest of the children in the Felt…and yes, there are children in the Felt (shocker, isn't it?). Besides, this wasn't the Disney's version of the Felt (because the Felt children had denounced that version of the story as completely fake and awful), this was the original Grimm Brothers version (which the children seemed to enjoy more). Was this responsible in any sort of way? Of course not, but since was the Felt ever considered responsible?

It seemed sort of demented that Vriska, Terezi, and Eridan were praying for the prince's demise, despite the fact that they knew how the story ended (you've read this to them about twenty times already). Still, it was also a bit…ok, you had to say it, it was a little adorable that the way that Calliope and Roxy's eyes were sparkling with every word, silently cheering on the former maiden of the sea. From what you could tell, Caliborn was plotting on how to kill the mermaid (though he knows now that he can't physically do something like that), Equius, Kanaya, and Rose were politely listening as well as they could with all the noise going on around them, and Gamzee…well, he'd been in his own little world for a while now (you personally think that Gamzee has a lot more problems than he lets on…you've been meaning to tell Doc Scratch about some of the kid's more odd behavior, but you really haven't had all that much time).

Despite how much you hated having to act like a freaking nanny to these kids, you really don't have much of a choice; you'd never leave any of the kids with half of the Felt, you can't exactly ask your boss to do it (same goes for Doc Scratch, Snowman, and Stitch…they're all probably way busier than you)…and if you left them with Doze, he'd fall asleep and they'd all suddenly disappear. Naturally, you were one of the few members of the Felt actually able to take care of all the kids at once (you couldn't exactly call that poor babysitter to come back again after the kids had basically tortured him…though, you have to admit that he talked way too much for the remainder of your sanity anyway)…you just wish that Itchy didn't insist on calling you their nanny, mostly because you're getting tired of smashing his face into a wall.

As you finished the story with the children hanging off your every word, you smiled at the fact that some of the other Felt members had decided to listen as well (really, most of them act more like big children than adults). You put the book down, and about half of the kids were crying (along with some of the adults), while the other half was trying not to cry, and you sighed as you allowed Roxy to cling to your ankle. Ever since Scratch took in the twins, Roxy seemed to enjoy clinging to you and calling you "Papa"…surprisingly, you'd gotten used to it. You naturally feel pity for the girl; her real father had run off before she was born, and her mother only recently died in a drunk driving accident. All Roxy had was her twin sister, Rose, and the younger girl seemed more interested in Scratch's human psychology books than bonding with her sister. You never understood why she physically clung to you as a lifeline (there were certainly other members of the Felt that were probably more sympathetic than you could ever be)…but, you guess it didn't really matter as long as you were fine with it (and surprisingly, you were).

Eventually, after all the crying stopped (Thank Gog), the kids were taken to their respective parents and sent to bed so that the adults could get ready for work. You slipped on your velvet green suit, donning your red hat before looking at yourself in the mirror. You'd never understand why, but the initiation for becoming a member of the Felt was having your hair dyed green; there were, of course, exceptions to this rule (Doc Scratch, Snowman, and Lord English), but those were very few. There was a time that you'd missed having ginger-colored hair, but as the years went by, you grew used to the vivid green color that matched your work suits (wow does your boss love green). You looked over to Roxy and smiled; she was sleeping, safe and sound, and Scratch would be staying in order to keep things that way once again (you felt a bit bad for leaving Scratch alone at the mansion every night, but he didn't seem to mind). You brushed a lock of hair from Roxy's face before giving her a quick kiss on the forehead and leaving the room.

You didn't know how Roxy would develop, that she wasn't asleep when you had left, that she had a key to the liquor cabinet you had several locks on to keep her out of the stuff…you didn't think of any of this stuff until it was too late, the days later on in life where you'd regret everything you let her get away with and mulled over how you could've been more attentive, even if she wasn't really your kid. You had walked out the door that day knowing only of the little girl "asleep" in your bed (which you truly didn't mind; when did you get enough privacy to sleep, anyway?); you didn't know the future, you couldn't stop this, and you still can't, no matter how much you want to. All you could do was leave that night for work and let things unfold behind your back.

Lulu: End~ Hope you enjoyed the beauty of this chapter :3 also, Sia put up her new M-rated fanfic titled "Innocent Request" on our account...so, if you want to read an amusing Johnkat fanfic, you can go read it if you want. Thank you for reading~


	4. HALLOWEEN SPECIAL

**Lulu: Yo~ as a reward for you guys for my spotty updates (I blame school), I'm posting two chapters today :3 this one is a Halloween Special, while the next one has a 2 year time skip to when they're 5 years old...yes, they're still 3 (hard to imagine, right?). Enjoy~**

**NOTICE: IF YOU HAVE ANY PROBLEMS WITH THIS FANFICTION, PLEASE DON'T REPORT ME; JUST TELL ME YOUR ISSUES WITH THE PARTICULAR FANFICTION, AND I WILL DO MY BEST TO FIX THEM. I REALLY DON'T LIKE LOSING THE PRECIOUS FANFICTIONS THAT I SPEND TIME WRITING. NO MISTAKE IS TOO SMALL FOR ME TO BE NOTIFIED OF. THANK YOU**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN HOMESTUCK, FOR THAT IS OWNED BY ANDREW HUSSIE. I ALSO DO NOT OWN LOLITA, HARRY POTTER, BATMAN, SAILOR MOON, SUPERMAN, WONDER WOMAN, OR PETER PAN. ENJOY**

Your name is Stitch, and you can't help but smirk with pride at your creation. You watch as your daughter twirls in her black and jade vampire princess costume, her emerald eyes sparkling like gems. You picked up Kanaya from the streets not too long ago, and so far you haven't regretted it; she gets along with the other children, acting as a mother-figure to them (something only two really have), and she shares your hobby (aka job) of stitching up everyone else's clothes and creating new ones. She has potential, something you can recognize whenever you notice her working beside you.

Now, as you watch the other brats admiring each other's costumes (all of which were made by you), you had to appreciate your daughter's costume as one of your greater creations. It was a black Lolita-style dress with jade green accents, something that matched your daughters own black hair and green eyes, fair skin seemingly luminescent. Scratch's kid, Rose, had a dress similar to Kanaya's, only it was violet with black frills.

The rest of the children looked fine as well; Eridan looked rather pleased that he was dressed as Harry Potter (his favorite wizard, the one he never stopped talking about ever since Die had read him the entire series…that guy really knows how to make everyone else miserable), Crowbar had asked for a simple black cat costume for Roxy (she'd been rolling around on the carpet in it for a while now), Vriska and Terezi had decided to go as pirates (with Vriska as Captain Mindfang, of course), Equius was dressed in a one-person horse costume, Gamzee (of course) had taken interest in being a clown (he wore the make-up for it enough that it wasn't really an issue), and Calliope and Caliborn…well, Lord English had made them dress up as a prince and a princess (Calliope had been rather thrilled about it actually). All in all, they all looked adorable and many of the others had congratulated you on your work while you merely grunted in reply.

You were done for the night; Quarters, Sawsbuck, and Cans would be watching the kids while they trick-or-treated, Clover and Matchsticks would be giving out candy, and the rest of you had the night off from watching the kids and could relax until they came home later in the evening. Just as you were about to rise from your stool, however, a small hand tugged on your jacket. You looked toward the culprit, golden yellow eyes clashing with jade, and you were confused as to why Kanaya seemed to be a bit nervous.

"F-father…would you…um…" she fidgeted slightly, but you could get what she was trying to ask; she wanted you to come with for trick-or-treating. You could've refused, could've told her that Cans could probably protect her better than you ever could…but you didn't. Instead, you smiled and patted her head, and when she smiled back, you chuckled and gently grabbed her hand. You'd be there for her when you all left, and when you returned with her sleeping in your arms, you knew going with her was the best thing you could've done that night.

**BE AT THE STRIDER HOUSEHOLD, AT SOME POINT DURING THIS**

Your name is Dave Strider, and you refuse to take one step out of this apartment until your Bro lets you take off the goddamn skirt and let you be Batman. You were a guy (this was proven by many doctors, you might add) and you wanted to be the Dark Knight, not a magical girl! You don't care that your twin brother, Dirk, seemingly loved his skirt and that you had to match (Bro loved making you both matching costumes, saying that it was for ironic purposes); if Bro wanted you to match, then Dirk could be Batman and you could be Robin (you didn't care if you had to have sidekick duty, so long as Dirk would side with you on this…unfortunately, that wasn't working very well). You had the costumes, you'd convinced Bro to buy them for you specifically so that you didn't have to wear the dreaded skirt, but Bro kept trying to tell you that skirts were "ironic". Usually you'd listen to anything Bro said about irony, but this was ridiculous! And it wasn't like your other older brother was doing anything to help your case. Alpha looked a lot like you, and usually he'd agree with you when it came to Bro and Dirk's anime and robot shenanigans, but as usual, Alpha had to work late (even Halloween gained no rest for him) and he couldn't come to your aid at this current moment.

That didn't matter however; you still weren't leaving in a skirt. You knew that Bro was trying to guilt-trip you with the fact that if you didn't trick-or-treat, then Dirk wouldn't either, but you still weren't giving up your argument. No, you weren't…a few minutes later, you totally weren't groaning in complaint. Bro hadn't convinced you to go (with that stupid thing he does, showing you his eyes and making you bend), Dirk wasn't slightly chuckling at your embarrassment as you seemed to be the only kids that were cross-dressing on Halloween. And you certainly didn't punch John when you met him and Jane on the road and he almost had a seizure with how hard he laughed (John and Jane got to be Superman and Wonder Woman…lucky bastards…).

**MEANWHILE ONCE AGAIN, AT THE HOUSE OF DIAMONDS DROOG**

Your name is Diamonds Droog, and your daughter looks like she's been in a fire. This was actually the desired effect however, as she was a ghost this Halloween and she had burned some of the edges on the costume to make it look more realistic (you were thankful that you didn't have to pay much for that thing). Still, you had to stop yourself multiple times from grabbing her a new dress (you were still trying), and while she seemed happy with the result, you knew you were throwing away that particular garment when you got home. It was currently chilly outside, and you had forced Aradia to wear something over her costume in order to keep warm.

The others didn't seem quite as cold as you were. Sol and Lux, dressed as police officers, were already wearing jackets, Tavros's Peter Pan costume seemed to be doing good in keeping him warm, and Karkat…well, even as a Mafia boss, he seemed cold(the fabric on his costume was probably too thin), though he didn't try to complain (you could quickly see why; Slick was too drunk to listen to the kid anyway, and though you weren't singing off the top of your lungs, you weren't all that sober yourself. Thankfully, Boxcars and Deuce seemed to have things under control, and you were only mildly tipsy).

You watched as the children ran up to another house, all of them excited to get candy from whoever was inside; of course, you'd be checking the candy later for any signs of rips or tears in the packaging (there are some cruel, disgusting people in the world who just love putting poison and blades into kid's candy bars when parents aren't paying attention), but for now you'd let them enjoy this. Seeing Aradia smile actually brightened your day a little bit, and right now she was extremely giddy with running around and try to "scare" adults with her costume (seeing the Midnight Crew on the street behind them probably scared the adults even more). Being out here was fine, as long as she was happy.

**Lulu: End~ :3 I hope this was scary enough for you guys (or cute, whatever works). Thank you for reading~**


	5. Chapter 4

**Lulu: Yo~ I have chapter 4 for you :3 sorry that it's so late, but school is slowly killing me. I have to keep up straight A's, or else i'll perish; wouldn't that be fun? :3 Also, there's a two year Time Skip in this chapter. Now all the children are 5. Enjoy the darker themes in this chapter~**

**NOTICE: IF YOU HAVE ANY PROBLEMS WITH THIS FANFICTION, PLEASE DON'T REPORT ME; JUST TELL ME YOUR ISSUES WITH THE PARTICULAR FANFICTION, AND I WILL DO MY BEST TO FIX THEM. I REALLY DON'T LIKE HAVING TO LOSE THE PRECIOUS FANFICTIONS THAT I SPEND TIME WRITING. NO SINGLE MISTAKE IS TOO SMALL FOR ME TO BE NOTIFIED OF. THANK YOU**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN HOMESTUCK, FOR THAT IS OWNED BY ANDREW HUSSIE, WHO STILL HASN'T UPDATED (don't worry, we can wait :3 even if it means waiting forever). I ALSO DO NOT OWN POKEMON. ENJOY**

Your name is Sol Deuce, and you hate the doctor. Ever since those days during infancy when you had to get immunization shots (you can barely remember them, but you're pretty sure you hated them), you've despised the doctor with passion. Sadly, your dad (aka the infamous Clubs Deuce of the Midnight Crew) is bringing you to that horrible man in white to prepare you for "kindergarten" or whatever that is.

You don't get why Lux seems so calm about all this, and yet at the same time you do. Lux is one of the weirdest kids on Earth; he's shy, obedient to authority (aka adults), and the only thing he's usually fighting is something your dad calls "depression" (you think it makes him sad a lot). He blames himself for the death of your mom, even though he shouldn't. It wasn't his fault when that burglar broke in, that you both had gone down to check out the noise…it wasn't his fault that the burglar had a gun and shot your mom to death. It wasn't his fault that the police didn't show up in time to save her (they only got their afterwards, to arrest the criminal and pick up the pieces), that you were driven to your dad's house by that strange man with the shiny car.

Still, Lux blamed himself for everything, and he doesn't like loud noises anymore (the exception of course was Karkat, but he's special; Karkat's been like that since the day you met him two years ago, and you've both gotten used to his rare outbursts that come with otherwise complete silence). You don't get why he's obedient either (forget that noise), but you tried to not let it bother you (emphasis on "try").

As you contemplated your brother's odd behavior, you faintly heard a yelp escape from a child in another room, which was followed by loud cursing. Ah, so Karkat was here too…maybe you can pick on him later (you know he doesn't take it to heart; guys pick on each other all the time, right? Besides, you try avoid the more sensitive subjects…one of the only unspoken rules in the Midnight Crew was to never mention moms). Briefly, you wonder what he's complaining about; maybe he got a shot or something? You hate shots, and needles (especially needles). You're not sure why, but sticking something sharp into your skin has never appealed to you (you can't even approach sewing needles without giving a cringe).

Sadly, as soon as you thought of needles, that doctor came towards you with one. With razor sharp vision and rapid reflexes, you were prepared to bolt…until your dad grabbed your wrists and held you down. A minute, you were holding your now tender arm and glaring at everyone and everything in sight (that's right, I'm looking at you chair), while Lux was sitting patiently, biting his lip like a good little sucker (speaking of which, the doctor handed you one of those. It was cherry-flavored, your favorite).

**MEANWHILE, IN THE GENERAL VICINITY**

Your name is Tavros Boxcars, and you're wondering why all these doctors keep looking at you funny (it's making you really nervous…so do a lot of other things). When it comes to size, you know that you can't compare to your Papa (you're like a mouse compared to him), but that doesn't make you weird…right? You don't know; you can't handle all these people looking at you, talking about you (you're not sure what it's about, but you heard your name thrown in a couple of times). They're probably talking about your obvious nervousness (unwanted attention is horrible for you), or maybe it's about your legs. Despite the fact that you could run and jump and play like other kids, you know that your legs are weaker than most; one fracture or broken bone could possibly ruin them.

Papa was a bit of a worry-wart (something you got specifically from him), and out of everyone else, you seemed to be his main concern. You can't complain though; despite the fact that you don't like the thought of having to depend on your papa (a trait inherit in all kids your age, apparently), you still think it's nice to have some protection from bullies and those scary adults that have weird white vans and offer you candy and games (Papa doesn't like it when you talk to those kinds of people). You don't think Lux is that lucky (but it's not his fault, or his papa's. Mr. Deuce, as Papa has told you many times, is simply naïve, and that really isn't his fault…though, that doesn't say much coming from you; you've been told that you're very naïve). Papa is way bigger than you, so it makes sense that he can protect you, right? You're completely sure of it.

Nervously, you twirl an orange sucker in-between your fingers. Technically, you should've left an hour ago, but Papa was busy talking and you had refused a ride home with Aradia and Mr. Droog in order to stay with him. You were bored, so you stuck the sucker into your mouth and pulled out your DS to play Pokémon Leaf-Green.

When you had begun this game, you had picked Bulbasaur as your starter; other than him, you had filled your team since then with Tauros (Tauros is your favorite Pokémon, next to Pikachu of course. People love Pikachu). You were currently trying to beat the Elite Four again, but this time, you had promised to defeat them without dying in the middle (you hated when that happened, you had to give away a lot of your hard-earned money…though, that's probably one of the few ways that people get money in this game).

Just as you reached the Champion, you felt a hand on your shoulder and looked up to see your papa ready to go. He gave you the same calm expression that was always on his face, but there was slight worry in his eyes. You smiled in reassurance, and he smiled back, but you could tell he was still afraid for you. You climbed onto his shoulders, and you both left together, but you knew that he'd still protect you from the strange neighbors and mean kids. Papas can do anything, right?

**Lulu: End~ told you it would be dark :3 hopefully I have satisfied the cravings of the Angst and Hurt/Comfort loving community :3 Thank you for reading~**


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